In the Shallows

by Nicole Andrews

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1.
2.
3.
4.
05:01
5.
03:37
6.
03:56
7.
8.
03:32
9.
06:47
10.
11.
05:48

credits

released February 28, 2015

All songs written and produced by Nicole Andrews
With the support of Creative New Zealand Toi Aotearoa
© 2015 Nicole Andrews Music
www.NicoleAndrewsMusic.com

Recorded and mixed at Surgery Studios, Wellington New Zealand
Steinway Piano Recordings at The New Zealand School of Music
Recording and Mixing Engineer: Lee Prebble
Piano Engineer: Thomas Voyce
Mastered at Munki Studios by Mike Gibson

Piano, Vocals, Harpsichord and Organ: Nicole Andrews
Guitar (Tracks 1, 2, 4, 10): Daniel Ryland
Ebow Guitar (Track 9): David Long
Bass: Andrew Bain
Drums: Lance Philip
Cello: Margaret Guldborg
Viola: Christiaan van der Zee
Violin: Konstanze Artmann
String Arrangements (Track 3): Reuben Bradley
String Arrangements (Tracks 6, 10, 11): Nicole Andrews
This Heart Programming: Nicole Andrews
Goodnight Sweetheart Programming and Production: Thomas Voyce

Photography: Brett Stanley
Graphic Design: Ceire Hopley
Logo Design: Jaya Gibson

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about

Nicole Andrews Wellington, New Zealand

Nicole is a self-taught pianist from Portland Oregon, now based in Wellington New Zealand. Her self-produced debut album, In the Shallows, is a collection of introspective songs with echoes of Tori Amos, PJ Harvey and Massive Attack.

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Track Name: Just Another Female Vocalist
is this what you really want from me
nothing but delicacy
nothing but cute and sexy
I am not made out of those nasty things
sugar and spice to sing
poison my head when you explain
how I’m not mainstream
compliment to me
intended an insult
I am not waiting for approval
you think you’ve got me pegged
well I feel the same just looking your direction

this is what it’s like
to wake up on the other side with nothing to hide
this is what it’s like
just another female vocalist waiting to die

tried my hand at making pretty things
something to show your friends
something that was pretend
I am not made out of those nasty things
I prefer angst to bling
pointing at everything
I am not mainstream
I don’t intend to be
you think it’s an insult that I don’t need your approval
make some extra money
become the girl you are hoping I could never be

this is what it’s like
to wake up on the other side with nothing to hide
this is what it’s like
just another female vocalist waiting to die

this is what it’s like
just another angry girl at the end of her time
Track Name: Practicing Freedom
this city haunts me
try to get out
too many broken hearts live here
bad memories line me
strengthen my bones
this place I still call my home

kept from your evening
I’m running
look who sacrificed everything
it is my pleasure to be alone
pretending
concealing
eliminating
rearranging
I don’t live here anymore

too many faces
remind me of what
I wish I could leave behind me
all of those faces
once my old friends
no harm was meant but I’m running

kept from your evening
I’m running
look who sacrificed everything
it is my pleasure to be alone
pretending
concealing
eliminating
rearranging
I don’t live here anymore

practicing freedom
spoiled the run
controlled happiness will cure me
emptied my weekend
broken again
yes, but I’m too busy running

kept from your evening
I’m running
look who sacrificed everything
it is my pleasure to be alone
pretending
concealing
eliminating
rearranging

pretending
practicing
my freedom draining
imitating
I don’t live here anymore
Track Name: Pixelated Roses
pixelated roses
courtesy in vain
gave them to my mother
now she feels the same
and I owe her
what she gave to me
and I forgive her
for what she could not be

bring to me
my lover
all your promises
oceans of forever
endless crevasses
and I owe it
what you gave to me
and I felt it
when you turned away

and I owe

pixelated roses
courtesy in vain
left you in the ashes
carved up my whole name
fix you
I forgive you
but I’m never quite the same

and I owe

you better run
you better hide
because it’s here inside

you better run
from me

never quite what it seems
Track Name: Whisper
hearts open wide
colder inside
hotels July
and I’m gone
dark days again
left wondering
“where did this begin” you say
you whisper
I’ll begin again

kept to yourself
hard not to tell
you were always there for me
hard days to come
felt over and done
you and me
we’re the chosen ones
you whisper
I’ll begin again

you say
don’t run away
I tried but was buried alive
I tried to change
you whisper
I’ll begin again

back to the start
hearts drift apart
open-ended wedding bells
hold me again
hearts don’t pretend
kept you where I’d do no wrong
too many divides
helpless in your eyes
just what have we become
you whisper
I’ll begin again

you say
don’t run away
I tried but was buried alive
I tried to change
you whisper
I’ll begin again
you whisper
I’ll begin again
Again
Again
Again
Track Name: This Heart
this life won’t let me go away
this heart won’t saturate me
I’ve been here
mending these wounds
and I’ve been following you
and you haven’t noticed

your heart
your heart
your heart

this house won’t crumble at your feet
this light won’t penetrate me
please, God
don’t let her leave me

don’t give up now
you’re going over
don’t give up now
your four leaf clover

your heart
your heart
your heart

this life won’t let me go away

don’t give up now
you’re going over
don’t give up now
your four leaf clover

don’t give up now
sister
Track Name: Happiness
until the sun breaks down your sky
until the clouds that never lie
we walk away
heart open wide
relearn to live with different eyes

believe in love
believe in fear
believe in hate
cause it’s all here
the things you do
the things you break
will only add to this earthquake

and in the end
I will meet you
meet you all the way
my dearest friend
I really need you
to meet me all the way
cause I’m holding out for happiness today

until the sun can shine a path
until the clouds give us a chance
lets move away
cover our tracks
relearn to live with our past

got carried away
with myself
got caught in the trap
that we built
pulled of my wings
from my back
carried the weight in the scratch

and in the end
I will meet you
meet you all the way
my dearest friend
I really need you
to meet me all the way
cause I’m holding out for happiness today
cause I watched you turn back along the way
Track Name: Goodnight Sweetheart
carry the motives in your ear
aren’t you the gladdest in the town
you run
you run
you ran away and left me dry

aren’t you the person that I think
a change of grace and at my feet
escape me
invade me
you are the secret that I keep

campaign the forest for the trees
aren’t you the poison that I fear
you run
you ran away and left me here

and yes, the walls will fall down
the brightest stars will fade out
corrosion happening in sound
deafen the system that’s laid out
goodnight sweetheart
Track Name: It's You
you know that love surrounds you
you’d be the only one
hot baby to fruition
surprised you’re flammable

condition of the bone
embodies all you know
find comfort in the dirt
come back
you’re beautiful

and darling
it’s you

you bask and bleach the bone
I hope you’re capable
lost body in the earth
no frame
death becomes her

and darling
it’s you

hot baby to fruition
I hope it’s comfortable
Track Name: Good Girl
pray
to your kind of man
on your knees
in a back bend again
going in
gone to find my lost twin
traveling through
my dark side again
traveling

get in
the fire is warm
promise me you
will leave when I’m done
promising choices
of time out of mind
pretend that this blood is wine
traveling

come with your weapons
could you expect this
I’ve been a good girl
I still regret this
hey

prey
to your kind of man
servicing God
and all his victims
wash away
traces of you on my skin
pretend that
it’s what life has given
wash away

come with your weapons
could you expect this
I’ve been a good girl
I still regret this
Track Name: Cold Hearted Beast
everything you do
worshipped in your gloom
I keep you at a distance
the poison in your veins
now echos in your name
and I wanted you to know that

I hate you
and I hate you

cold hearted beast
so lonely in your cage
I keep you at a distance
and everything you do
it’s broken cause of you
haunted and alone
and

every night I bet you lie awake
talking to yourself again
well, calm yourself for goodness sakes
it’s hard to pretend
when you know that

I hate you
and I hate you

cold hearted beast
so lonely in your cage
I keep you at a distance
and everything you do
it’s broken cause of you
haunted and alone
and

just because you think you know
doesn’t mean shit tonight
hello baby
you’re on your own
start to pretend
cause you know that

we hate you
and I really do
too

cold hearted beast
so lonely in your cage
I keep you at a distance
and everything you do
it’s broken cause of you
haunted and alone
and

cold hearted beast
so lonely and diseased
I keep you at a distance
and everything you do
it’s broken cause of you
haunted and alone
and

cold hearted beast
so lonely in your cage
I keep you at a distance
and everything you do
it’s broken cause of you
I wanted you to know
I wanted you to know
Track Name: Time
time alone
time alone again

I got my old ways
I got my new ways
sitting here
just breaking apart
I can’t imagine
my life’s precision
open to you
opened my heart
a girl knows her secrets well
some alone would do you well

I got my old ways
I got my new ways
lifting me out of the dark
our situation
a strangled nation
bring me babe
back to the start

keep it on the back side of time
I’m just glad I’m alive
this is the bad side of me
nobody said prepared you are free
not this time

I got my old ways
I got my new ways
hold me dear
I’m breaking apart
I’ve got this vision
our lives collision
carefully pulling apart
and who knows what secrets will come
suppose we’re last to learn

keep it on the back side of time
I’m just glad I’m alive
this is the bad side of me
nobody said prepared you are free
not this time

I got my old ways
I got my new ways
help me dear
I’m breaking apart
a bright transition
a composition
suddenly back at the start
and who knows when the end will come
that secret sounds too sudden

keep it on the back side of time
I’m just glad I’m alive
this is the bad side of me
nobody said prepared you are free
not this time

I know
let go
let go
“Come inside” he said

I know

time alone
time alone again